When He’s Away…

Alex left again yesterday for work for 2 whole weeks. What’s so bad about this is he’s been gone for most of the last 6 weeks. Even when he’s been home he’s working from 9 am to 11, 12, or even 1 am. You’d think that with the amount of time he’s been traveling since we’ve been together I would be so much better at this.

But I’m not. I don’t understand how to make it easier.

Apparently they mate for life!
Apparently they mate for life!

I have been reading a lot lately on ‘how to cope when your spouse is away’ and there’s tons of How-To’s and advice from medical journals. There’s even articles out there where scientist have experimented with separating male prairie voles from their mates to see if their rising levels of corticosterone are similar to humans with our levels cortisol. While I have calmed down a little by reading them, I think what has begun to help me most is reading blogs from other women who have significant others who are constantly away. AND ALL OF THEM DON’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL EITHER!

But then I realized…I’m not going through this alone. I’m truly not the only woman who’s man is away (or in a man’s case, not the only guy who’s beautiful lady is away). Some of these adults are running a house, holding a job, taking care of kids, going to appointments and cooking dinners all alone while I don’t have to worry about most of that. Sure, I have to clean and do all my cooking and pay for everything. But wasn’t I doing that long before my man and I started dating? I have to clean all the kitty liter and take out the recycling but other than that what I am losing from him going away? The bed is a little less warm and there isn’t constant noise but I have it better off than some.

I was reading an article by guest writer Derrell Jamison in a Huffington Post article where he wrote that being away from each other is absolutely okay. That sometimes we forget the meaning of “distance makes the heart go fonder” and maybe that is something we tend to forget. I know I’m guilty.

I am still an adult if I recognize that I had a temper tantrum, right?
I am still an adult if I recognize that I had a temper tantrum, right?

Before Alex leaves for a trip I get sad, moody and, I’m embarrassed to say, I sometimes through mini tantrums. Sure my guy is excited about his business trip because they involve setting up events and shows and he LOVES his job! He has every right to be excited and sometimes, not until afterwards, do I realize how selfish of a person I was being during the days leading up to him leaving. Who wants to go on their trip with their significant other is mad and upset? Who wants to phone home or text when they’re worried their significant other is going to make them feel bad for being away? I’ll tell you who: NO ONE.

Alex is so amazing because he’s working hard to create a future for himself and for me. I am extremely lucky to have a guy like that and I’m constantly reminding myself not to take this for granted. Sure I’m sad, tired, lonely and scared when he’s away – but he always comes back. And when he comes back, I’m always happy again. 🙂


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